I just moved into my own place, a studio loft and its flipping amazing thus far!!! I’m in the process of decorating it and a creatively revamping a small space..pictures to come!
What does it mean to be in a place of desolation?
A barren wasteland
Out of all these definitions, the one most relate-able would be a Barren Wasteland. Not so much in terms of me, but my environment. I believe you can be a person filled with life and vibrancy but still surrounded by desolation.
I’ve never really tried to take the time to understand my true feelings or make sense of the constant struggle of emotion between myself and my desolate surroundings. As a young Christian, born and raised on the church front, I have always been taught how to basically let the weights and pressures of the world simply roll off my back. No need to really process and analyze ones true feelings being that God would bare the weights of my world and so I was taught to leave it. As I grow in my adulthood, more and more am I being confronted with the conflict of dealing with my true inner feelings.
I’ve always battled with whether I belong here. I never wanted to be that kid that completely disowned everything I’ve known and love in self-pursuit, but I would be untruthful if I said those thoughts don’t frequently run through my mind. Yet, I suppress them. They reoccur. I suppress them. They reoccur. Its become a mental drain. I don’t have the slightest clue on where I would possibly go, how to properly grow in my new surrounding. I’m not even sure what exactly to pursue! I know my loves, I know my likes, the things that move me and yet I can’t seem to articulate these things with strong definition. I feel as though, this has a lot to do with the lack of cultivation within the area I live in..the complete lack of know-how and exposure.
Where I live, my family and I are notable trailblazers for our area but even then, every trailblazer needs inspiration in order to thrive. And in the words of Kendrick Lamar, I’m DYING of thirst. Dying of inspiration. Inspiration, inspiring people, inspiring things, innovation and all things creative are like water to me and for now I’m surrounded by a barren wasteland wrung dry of these things. I’m not sure how much longer I can go thirsty. As novice as this is, I’m praying for a sign, a movement. It would be an absolute shame to allow the divine world within to transpire into nothing more than ruins.
I asked for a sign and I believe it came. Don’t do signs much, but how many do you really need before you believe??